Do Not Open


Haley McCoy, Editorials Editor

     For months on end last year, a person couldn’t turn on the radio without hearing the vivacious and uplifting song about costly Range Rovers and mattresses.

     The Chainsmokers, an EDM duo, was a relatively unknown band before the song “Closer” topped charts last winter. Thanks in part to the featuring artist on the song, Halsey, the Chainsmokers’ song was one of the most popular songs of the year. Suddenly, this unknown duo was popular, and the promised upcoming album was one of the most anticipated of the new year.

     Two singles were released from the album early. “Something Just Like This” brought Coldplay to the record and “Paris” sounded similar enough to “Closer” to show promise. Two more songs and there was reason to be cautiously optimistic, or for some, inconceivably excited. More radio time meant more listeners (as if no one had heard them before) and more anticipation.

     Come April 2017, excited fans woke up to the release of Memories… Do Not Open, the debut studio album of the best band with the fewest songs. Lo and behold: a disappointment. It took two songs until it was blatantly obvious the duo of Andrew Taggart and Alex Pall were in over their heads.

     The song is “Break Up Every Night” and the theme is: redundant, annoying, pointless, and, really, lacking any meaning at all. There’s only so many times an individual can repeat the lyrics “she wants to break up every night” before every other person in the world is left completely confused as that collection of words makes almost no sense.

     In short, the album is overrated. Lifeless and dull, Memories… Do Not Open just doesn’t make the cut for what good music is currently. Fans will stick around, as that sort of music appeals to some people, and others will listen due to the features of Coldplay and Florida Georgia Line. But any song sung solely by Taggart lacks individuality and emotion.

     The songs are narcissistic, basic, and boring. The vocals are equally uninspiring. The album artwork tries to make a play at being nostalgic and sweet, but doesn’t really match the music itself. The Chainsmokers had the opportunity to skyrocket into fame with this album, or further up than they already were. Memories… Do Not Open won’t actually help anything.

     So, go back to being just fine before you heard the Chainsmokers had an album coming out. It’s probably your best bet.